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Poster: ghostofpig Date: Apr 21, 2007 8:06am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

If you see me at your next meeting, run like hell.

Once--no twice, three time, make it ten--I joined a club, a society, a group. Dog shows, stamp collectors, trekkies, religious organizations--every group that has open membership.
Usually, these clubs are started by some hard core afficionados who love whatever it is they love. Well, these good folks get into a groove, write some bylaws, and open the doors for new members. At first, the new members are few, for not many know of this club or are hip enough do do what it likes (Coy clubs, flower clubs). Well, after their initial awakwardness and shyness, the newbies begin to speak. The elders love this dialogue. Then, one day, it's time for new officers, and the newbies begin to infiltrate the power structure. SOme of this pleases the old timers--those who agree with them and follow their ways--and some donot--the dissenters who have their own plans and agends, good or bad, to improve the organization.

Soon there is factionalism, and then fighting, then hurt feelings. Then either the old timers move on, or a faction forms a new group. The faction follows the same cycle, as does the origanal group. The old timers. meanwhile, have become judges, and judging is the sine qua non of the biscuit.

So, after a few years--maybe five--maybe ten, we have competing societies, and a whole lot of pissed off folks. Plus, the newcomers really feel unwelcome, especially as they sense the tension and see how there is an all but unbreakable pecking order.

Next up, the judges leave the societies, which are now beneath them, the second wave begins to get bored or frustrated and move on, and the third wave proves mediocre, for they lack the wisdom and knowledge that the old will no longer give away. And, after a while, there are more folks interested in dogs, stamps, orchids, books, that are not members of any organization than there are members. It all may weaken and crumble at this juncture, or it may survive in evolutionary forms.

The aove model is by no means a perfect cookie cutter--certainly not for here. But it could be. Let us respect our "elder" members and solicit their knowledge and wisdom and strength of belief; let us welcome the new members and encourage them to add to the trove of ideas, questions, and information, and let us always teip our hats to those in the mid ground who stick around and look in both directions.


Celebrate: not castigate.

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Poster: rastamon Date: Apr 21, 2007 11:18am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

the only club I would be a member of is the International Order of Turtles

Turtles are bright eyed, bushy tailed, fearless and unafraid folk with a fighter pilot attitude. They think clean, have fun alot, and recognize the fact that you never get any place worthwhile in life unless you stick your neck out. The "Turtles" are indeed an illustrious group and include in their membership ranks some of the country's foremost leaders in fields of government, finance, entertainment, aerospace and other areas where ggressiveness, a feeling for fair play, clean thoughts and a sense of humor are keys to success. Started by a group of test pilots during WWII, the club has progressed to its present position as one whose membership is diligently sought after and highly esteemed by those lucky enough to be initiated. Adherence to the creed and always giving the password when asked are the only responsibilities placed on our membership. You will find that life is more fun and takes on new meaning when you are a "Turtle".

The History of the International Order of Turtles

As a neophyte of the I.O.T., I know that you are intensely interested in the background and history of this great organization. Our organization IS truly international in scope – and with the initiation of the astronauts in 1962 at what is now Cape Kennedy, it might be said we are even interplanetary. The I.O.T. was founded on the Isle of Mann off the coast of Great Britain in the year 460 B.C. At that time on the Isle of Mann there existed none of the means of transportation that we have today.
There were no automobiles. There were no subways, no buses, no trains, no streetcars. Indeed, even no planes. The only means of transportation were beasts of burden left behind after the Celtic invasion of the 5th Century B.C. Yes, every man, woman and child on the Isle of Mann had a donkey. And everyplace they went they took their ass along. If they went to work, they went on their ass. If they went to school, they went on their ass. If they went to the supermarket, they went on their ass. And since their asses meant so much to them, they took tremendous pride in their asses.

It is said that in some communities contests were held to see who had the nicest asses in town. Here, today, you will find people with pride in their automobiles. On the Isle of Mann it was asses that held their interest. Today you will see whole families on a sunny Sunday afternoon out in the yard polishing up their cars. Over there they would be polishing up their asses. Today you will see young fellows standing around watching the girls go by in their convertibles. Over there they loved to stand on the corner and watch the girls’ asses go by. Today, teenagers can hardly wait until they can buy some kind of jalopy. On the Isle of Mann they could hardly wait until they were old enough to get a little ass. As you can readily see, asses were of great importance on the Isle of Mann. In fact, it is often said that some even tried to make asses of themselves.

Of course, everyone went to church. And naturally, when they went into the church, they left their asses outside. And everyone had a particular place that he left his ass – including the minister, who always left his parked right by the well. At the tiny in the wee community where history was to be made that famous August Sunday, The Rt. Rev. McGeorge McYertle was the minister. On that particular day in the middle of the service, the church caught fire. To this day, the cause of the fire is still undetermined, although defective wiring has definitely been ruled out. Well, when the church caught fire, what was everyone’s concern? Naturally, everyone wanted to save his ass – and they all rushed outside, with the exception of The Rt. Rev. McGeorge Mcyertle, who was caught in the front of the church with no place to go but up into the bell tower. And so he did, feeling assured that his parishioners would be putting out the fire. Imagine his dismay when he looked down at the scene below! All his parishioners were just sitting around on their asses watching the church burn! And so he started to cry for help. They heard his cries – and now, the problem: How to get him down? No ladder would reach so high. Someone got the idea that perhaps he could jump on a load of hay which would break his fall. They brought up a load of hay, but alas, it, too, caught on fire. Someone thought of a net, but no nets were avail!able. And then one fellow got a brilliant idea. The history is not quite clear as to who it was, although we feel that it was Agnus McPherson, who got the idea that if he were to just jump and land on his ass, it would break the fall and he would be saved. So they all took up the cry: “Jump and land on your ass! Jump and land on your ass!” You can imagine the minister’s terror at this point. He certainly didn’t want to leap that tremendous distance to where he could see his ass tied by the well so far below. But as the smoke and flames rose higher and higher, he had no choice. Finally, with tremendous intestinal fortitude he took a mighty leap and down through the heavens he hurtled. Unfortunately, instead of landing on his ass, he went into the well. And ever since, they have said that that particular minister didn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. After they got him out of the well and dried off and back on his ass, he started back to the parsonage. As he was going down the dusty road, out from under the lapel of his tunic crawled a little gold turtle.He took this turtle home and started to feed it and nourish it and give it tender loving care. And under his care the turtle grew and thrived. However, the remarkable thing was that from that day forward it seemed that the minister could do no wrong – that his whole life changed for the better. His fortunes grew, and he became the wealthiest minister on the whole Isle of Mann.

And it is because of this story that McGeorge McYertle, on a hot Sunday afternoon in August on the Isle of Mann in the year 460 B.C. founded the I.O.T. And it is also because of this history that we have our password. We assume that all {prospective} turtles own a jackass. If you are ever asked by a fellow turtle, “Are you a turtle?” you must then reply, “You bet your sweet ass I am.” If you do not give the correct answer, you forfeit a beverage of his or her choice. Remember the password. And procure new members!


and that my friends, is a true story!



This post was modified by rastamon on 2007-04-21 18:14:46

This post was modified by rastamon on 2007-04-21 18:18:08

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Poster: Fishead Date: Apr 21, 2007 12:55pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

shouldn't it be terrapins!!!!!

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Poster: patkelley Date: Apr 21, 2007 9:46am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

What in God's name are you talking about here?

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Poster: ghostofpig Date: Apr 21, 2007 10:27am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

The life cycle of groups who take themselves too seriously. Come one, come all.

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Poster: mcglone Date: Apr 21, 2007 10:39am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

there it is... took you two sentences to say what i couldn't in umpteen yesterday!

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Poster: rastamon Date: Apr 21, 2007 10:35am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

are you a turtle?

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Poster: darkeyes Date: Apr 21, 2007 10:50am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

You weren't at my last church board meeting were you? Sounds strangely familiar. Dan Kimball writes a book called, "They love Jesus, but not the Church". Hey, lets get back to the basics.

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Poster: Chris Freedom Date: Apr 21, 2007 9:07am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

"so it goes , we make what we make since the world began"

Good Post -Ghost of Pig>>>>>
I also love your stories about back in the day!

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Poster: Arbuthnot Date: Apr 21, 2007 11:02am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

"Soon there is factionalism, and then fighting, then hurt feelings. Then either the old timers move on, or a faction forms a new group. The faction follows the same cycle, as does the origanal group. The old timers. meanwhile, have become judges, and judging is the sine qua non of the biscuit."

sounds like the history of christianity

edit: oh, and make no mistake, Jesus was very much a cult figure in those early years

This post was modified by Arbuthnot on 2007-04-21 18:02:24

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Poster: barongsong Date: Apr 21, 2007 11:46am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

I believe what the analogy refers to is the gossip and politics often happened in the dead tour life especially in the later years. The reality of the issues kept getting more and more diluted and the wise were relegated to spectators. Seemed that way to me anyway but I'm probably just stoned.

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Poster: ghostofpig Date: Apr 21, 2007 12:51pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

Most astute observation. I hadn't thought of that. We are cooler than you are because we saw them first and you are newcomers. Wait till you have seen fifty shows before you speak. Newbie whippersnappers.

I like to talk about the old days NOT to show off, but to share. I like to go down memory lane, and I hope my bposts entertain and do not imply anything more. And I look forward to posts about later years that educate me and make me wish I'd gotten back on the bus after the retirment.

That's the whole thing with the Dead--every show is a story to be told. Every show has memories. Every show is a part of your life.

What I saw was through being in the right place and time and having the good luck to be led there. Otherwise .. . .

And that too is the Dead--a friend taking you along for the ride, converting you into a believer. That is what it is all about.



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Poster: barongsong Date: Apr 21, 2007 1:41pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I wouldn't be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

Hmmm I think you may have taken my post the wrong way I was actually just commenting on what I thought that part of your post meant. Was probably completely off while the music played the band so to speak but it made me think of the demise of the family style deadhead scean in the last years.